Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Moon orbiting Planet Key

Recently Prime Minister John Key was kind enough to reveal what life on 'Planet Key' would be like. "Nirvana" was the answer apparantly. Everyone would be rich, there would be lots of golf courses, no work, plenty of holidays. Sounds like bliss.

However, Key forgot to mention the Moon that orbits his planet. This is a dirty place, full of poor people. There is crime, poverty, inequality, homelessness. On Planet Key's Moon, solo mothers are punished, invalids are forced to work, hundreds of thousands of people work for poverty wages. There is homelessness and despair.

Sometimes the people on Planet Key's Moon are allowed to visit Planet Key, but only to work for the inhabitants of the planet. Then after work they are escorted off the Planet to their cramped Moon, where they try to survive, constantly struggling to pay the bills and feed the kids.

Sometimes the inhabitants of Planet Key are so busy playing golf and taking holidays, that they forget there even is a Moon, after all it remains out of sight most of the time. But on those nights when the full moon rises, its hard to ignore. So on Planet Key, where it is "beautifully governed", those doing the governing sit around and come up with policies to try and ensure that Planet Key doesn't become overpopulated. They cut student allowances and loans so that Moon inhabitants can't study for higher education. They take away Union rights so that Moon inhabitants can't earn living wages. They build more prisons and lock up people for longer so that Moon inhabitants stay where they should belong.

Planet Key already exists. Planet Key is places like Helensville and Epsom. Places where the mega-rich can hide away from the rest of society and pretend there are no problems. But living in paradise isn't easy, there's always the problem of reality getting too close for comfort. Luckily we have people like John Key to remind us all that there is no need for reality when you already live in your own fantasy.

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